Do you ever get tired of people pleasing? Have you found that it is not easy to live up to what everyone expects of you? I have a few ways that you can look at that struggle through a different lens.
First, it is good to remember everyone has an opinion, whether it’s voiced or not, or it’s valid or not. Therefore, it is impossible to please each person you meet. One of the main reasons for this has to do with the fact that no one can fully understand you or your life since it is not theirs to live. We all have our own paths to take and our own reasons for the decisions we make. In addition, don’t let others steal your joy when you do achieve a small victory, but others think you should be farther in life. There will always be another level that follows that you need to strive for. Some examples are when you get your license, people wonder when you will get a car; when you have a boyfriend, people ask about marriage; when you’re married, people poke and prod about when you’ll have kids. However, don’t let the discouragement of not having something else take away from what you do have! People may not understand why you make the decisions you do, just as you cannot fully understand where they are coming from when they give their opinion. Second, when people give their two cents worth of their opinion, you have the right to take what you want to apply to your life and leave the rest. You don’t have to try to change to get their approval, since they aren’t the ones living your life.
The kind of advice you should listen to is the kind that aligns with God’s Word and what is morally right.
Who will you let write your life? What will you try to measure up to?
If you are not sure that the advice you are receiving is correct, you can look up Bible verses that may back it up. You would be surprised how many verses in the Bible help instruct us in our life decisions and difficulties. Third, don’t let what other people say, and their opinions, be taken to heart. This will only cause you more hurt while not even affecting the person who said it. If you don’t agree with what someone says about you, or are hurt by their opinion, it’s ok to process the feelings but not dwell on them. This can apply to any kind of negative emotion: hurt, anger, jealousy, disappointment and more. If you hold something against another person, most likely it is affecting you from moving forward more than the person who you are holding it against. In those situations, you have to forgive them for your well-being and freedom in order to grow and move on in a healthy way. Furthermore, you shouldn’t have what other people say about you make you question something about you or your life if you know you are walking in the way God wants you to. And lastly, remember that
God is the ultimate author of your life.
In Romans 9:20 we read, “but who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “‘why have you made me like this?’” When people say a comment about us, we often get defensive and then start to overthink, going to God asking, “why this” and “why that?” But God answers through the previous verse by asking a question back “who are you, O man, to answer back to God?” The verse shows how God is the molder of who we are and, therefore, of our lives. If you let others begin to “write your life” by taking everyone’s advice and trying to apply it, your life would be a mess! So, instead, don’t let others lead you to question God’s perfect plan for you! God uses our life circumstances to make us into who He wants us to be, as long as we go through life with Him. If you go through life apart from God, trying to please people your whole life, you will come up empty and feeling worthless. However, when you do life with God you realize how He has a purpose for everything you go through and that is for you to know Him more.
The more you know God and follow His leading, the more you will identify with His love and approval of you.
He did, in fact, send His son Jesus to live a perfect life, die a death that we deserve because of our sins, and rise from the dead all so you could live with Him. He wants you to live with Him by your side while here on earth and then later in heaven! When you are truly living for God and for His purposes you won’t care if people understand why you do what you do. Galatians 1:10 refocuses/encourages us in our walk as it says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” But that cannot be done without faith. Hebrews 6:11 states, “and without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” There is the “secret” to pleasing God: have faith, believing He exists, and that He rewards those that seek Him. When you seek Him above seeking the approval of people who, mind you did not create you, then you truly please Him! You are then showing how you believe and are confident in who He is and all that He is doing in your life to make you who He created you to be! Remember, God is the one you should be living for and that He has given you greater purpose than what peoples approval could ever provide!
