Think Before You Speak!
I find it common among girls to deliver a snarky comment in a nice way and with a smile. This is an unspoken way to put a person down that most girls have to deal with at some point. Yet, genuine girls who are a bit more sensitive, find it hard to make friends when they don’t know how to respond to such encounters when they occur. To the girl who relates to that, there is nothing wrong with you for having a good heart and being convicted when others act, or speak, in such a way. Therefore, when you feel like someone is being condescending towards you, remember that it has more to do with the person and their heart, or hurt, rather than with you. A lot of girls tend to use their words, and the way they say things, to prove a point. What matters most is how you respond to those comments from others. Paul, who wrote Romans, gives good advice in Romans 12:18-21, a section in my Bible (ESV) entitled “Marks of the True Christian.” Verse 18 starts off by saying, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceable with all.” Pause. Did you catch that?
The Word says, “it depends on you” when it comes to how you act towards people, and how you react to people or situations.
Keep this in mind for later because we’ll come back to those points. Paul goes on to write in verses 19-20, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” First, we learn that God says He will take care of people who come against you on your behalf. In other words, He just wants you to leave it to Him because He has your back! Second, we get to read about an example of how to live this out. Most often when people come against us, we want to stoop down to their level and attack with rude words in response. However, the Lord calls us to treat them with kindness, or really kill them with kindness, as it “will heap burning coals” on their heads. We are to do the right thing as we honor God, and then people will have nothing to say or hold against us. Most of the time the backlash is not about you. Therefore, do not compromise your character to get back at a mean girl. Instead, if you say or do something, have it come from a place of acknowledging their hurt. Hebrews 6:10 encourages us by saying, “For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints..” It is important to have faith in who God is and in the fact that He will do what He says. Hebrews 11:6 tells us, “without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek Him.” It is necessary to realize that God sees you and will take care of you, as well as honor or reward you, as you stand on His Word. My pastor always says, “hurt people hurt people.” Therefore, it is essential to remember in those difficult moments to show the love of Christ, as you could be the one used to help a person, not deepen their hurt. Ephesians 4:29 supports this by saying, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” After you respond in the way that is least expected, a person might either become confused and wonder why, or maybe that person might become convicted and change. Some might walk away or just try to be mean again and eventually give up.
The point is that there is power in your words!
Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” So, it depends on you when it comes to the way you speak to others. James 3 is famous for being the support for this claim and it will shock you how true it is. James 3:8-10 states, “but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing..these things ought not to be so.” It is always convicting when I read that verse as it really puts things into perspective. We are to lift one another up and respond well because God has made us all in His image.
We are to respect, honor, and love God by laying down our want to get back at others. Instead, speak kindly and show genuine acts of love.
This is not easy, but it is worth doing! We need to trust that vengeance is God’s while we focus on doing the right thing for His glory! Proverbs 16:24 says, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” God uses how we act and react to help others in their healing walk as well! The way you act leaves an example for others and can influence them. In addition, the way you react to people and situations has an effect on you and the recipient. Proverbs 3:27 calls us up as it says, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.” Sometimes, as hard as it is to be held to a higher standard, we need to understand that we have influence, or power, over situations more than we think. Therefore, we are called to live for Jesus and do the right thing to live out the gospel, as we make His name known! So, I want to encourage you girl and leave you with these things:
Remind yourself of the motive and heart behind your restraint towards others when they come against you.
God sees you and will defend you, you just need to stand on His Word and follow His lead!
No one said doing the right thing would be easy, but your focus needs to remain on the fact that you are in good company and in good standing with the Lord.
By acting and reacting correctly, according to the Word, you will show the true marks of a Christian, even when others do not.
